I can’t believe how incredibly fast the last 6 months has come and gone.  It is so weird to think that one year ago at this time I was packing up my house in Minnetonka to get ready to move to St Michael with Cory.  SO much can change in one small year.  When I think back to that time it seems like yesterday, but at the same time in seems like years.  Life just has this way of turning out.  If someone had told me that this is where I would be, and that I would be a mom, and have an amazing boyfriend who is the greatest dad a mother could ask for, and live in St Michael . . . I would have said “Not a chance”.  But thankfully, I got my chance.  My chance at experiencing the unbelievable and unconditional love for my son, and finally feeling and getting to know what true love is.  As much of a planner I thought I was, I never could have written this script, it would never have played out this way.

Here are the 6 month photos that we took with Brooke, and then Alycia, Ary and Coop and I did a session at the Arboretum on “hot” fall day.  We have such a gorgeous little guy – I know I am biased, but I don’t care 🙂

This truly has been the most amazing 6 months of my life.  It is going way too fast.  I realized the other night, while talking with Cory’s sister Alycia, that I am struggling a little with how fast this is going.  My baby is turning into a boy before my eyes.  Yes he is still a baby, but not at all what I expected.  He is crawling around like crazy, climbing up stairs, getting into the cabinets and pulling himself up on bookcases, and chairs, and tables, and cabinets, and doors, and . . . . well, everything.  He is eating like a champ, putting down rice cereal like it is the last bowl on earth.  I know that I should be giving him real food now.  Developmentally he is more than ready.  The kid can hold his own bottle, and I would bet that if I let him for a few days, he would probably master a spoon.  However, there is something inside me holding it up.  I know it is not right, irrational even.  But, I don’t want this to go so fast.  I know I am being selfish.  I know.  But, I honestly expected to have at least another month of my little baby.  Helpless, and needing me.

He just stayed at Granny Pat and Grandpa Ron’s house last night – the whole night.  I woke up with panic in my chest thinking that I had slept through him crying.  I opened the door to his room and quickly remembered he was at Granny’s house.  It was the emptyiest feeling I have had in a long time.  I knew he was in the best of care, with people that love him probably as close to as much as I do, but it still was tough.  I think part of it was the realization that he was OK without me.  He doesn’t need me to eat anymore, in fact he doesn’t really even want to breast feed anymore.  He will go to anyone with a smile, and is happy and smiley pretty much anywhere – with or without me.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely know that these are all good things.  Great self esteem builders for him, all healthy advancements, all great things.  However, it still stings a little.  I think I just got my first real glimpse of the heartache of being a parent.  That at some point, your kids will not need you.  I just didn’t think I would have that realization at 6 months.

Our first trip with Cooper was Memorial Weekend to Cory’s parents lake home in Minong,Wisconsin.  It was just a few weeks after he was born, and we were amazed at how well he traveled!  He barely made a peep in the back, even with all of the loud music we played, and the sound of the dogs in the back.  We were even more surprised at how packed an Expedition can get with 2 adults, one little man, and 2 dogs.  Man did we need a lot of stuff!
We have been back to Wiestside a few more times during his first summer, 4th of July, Labor Day, and a few random weekends.  Cooper took his first swim out at Sand Island, after his first boat ride when Mama and Dada brought him out fishing.  He is such a fun kid!  He just goes with the flow, wherever we go, he is happy.

During our Labor Day trip, Cooper even got to come with Gamma G, Auntie Sheesha, Cousin Ary and Mama to Duluth.  We shopped, walked the town, and even got to go play in the rocks on the beech of Superior for the first time.  He had such a great time!

I am so excited for Cooper to get to spend time with Dada hunting, fishing, and hanging out on the hunting land just over 30 minutes from Minong.  I hope that he will learn to love nature as much as Cory does.  I am sure he will pick up on the respect for nature and animals, patience, persistence, and the ability to really relax and enjoy time by yourself in the quiet of the woods.  He will have to learn to care for the land, the cabin, and all of the toys.
I have no doubts that this is where he will ride his first dirt bike, snowmobile, 4×4 and even the Argo.  I can see him spending hours with DaDa in the garage learning about how to fix the brakes on one of the toys, or replace a windshield on something he crashed (hopefully with no major injuries).

He will learn to play cribbage with Gamma G, the right way, with no cheating . . . . unless totally necessary    He will play outside with all of his cousins, and the many dogs that will most likely always be a part of the family.
I am sure there will be hours and hours spent walking around the house with Papa while he shows him each of the animals he has hunted, teaching him about the places he has traveled and the people he as met.
Auntie Sheesha will be close by making sure he is warm enough, and giving out hugs and kisses as much as she can.

I am looking forward to this fall and winter to bring a few more 2.5 hour trips during the hunting season as well.  I am even thinking of getting out on their hunting land and trying it for myself for the first time.

Wiestside is a beautiful home, surrounded by serene nature, and filled with a loving family that I have no doubts will surround Cooper with love for all of his days.  He is one lucky boy!

The place that has been so special to me since I can remember is our family cabin, Russell’s Resort on Big Deep Lake.  There are pictures of me when I was little playing on the beach, splashing in the warm shallow water, and even getting a bath in the big bowl.   I feel so blessed that my son is going to be able to have all of those same experiences and memories!
This last June, while I was off playing (guilty mom moment), Cooper got to spend a whole week up at Big Deep with the Dunstone’s, the Allar’s, the Peterson’s and the Severson’s.  He splashed in the cool water, layed on the beach and even got to take a bath in the big bowl!  I am pretty sure that he never touched the ground, as everyone cared for him so well!  I even think that after only one week he must have gained 10 lbs!  He was huge when I got home!  Granny Pat said that everytime he fussed they thought that he must be hungery, so . . . . they fed him.

He was so lucky to get to spend time with Great Grandma Phyllis, Great Grandpa Willy, Great Grandpa Dale, Great Grandma Joanne, Great Uncle Randy, Great Aunt Deb, Great Aunt Barb, Great Uncle Craig, and. . . Joey, David, Cathy and Craig.  GG Phyllis told me later that “It was really nice getting to know him”.  That comment really made me think about how little time we really get to spend with our families these days.  It is hard to really get to know them, appreciate them, and make a connection with them when you only see them on holidays, birthdays and special occasions.  And then it is usually centered around an event, and most of the time only for a few hours.

It used to be that there were week long vacations, and numerous weekends at the cabin to really spend that time.  Nights around the Royal Rummy table, usually borrowing from the bank.  Days filled with badmington and Bocce Ball up at the big cabin, Horseshoes and Lawn Darts down by the Boathouse, Volleyball off the end of the dock, and countless plays, picnics, bubbles and conversations after happy hour.
So many amazing memories like my dad’s famous “Super Balls”, riding up in the camper, surfing in the crick, learning how to clean fish after catching a ton of Sunnies.  Canoeing into the lagoon, pontooning across the lake to check out the Eagle’s nest, and going down the little boy and jumping the Beaver Dams with the Lund.  Falling asleep to Benny Hill and grandma’s cookies.  The sound of the lake against the rocks while sitting on the screened in porch of the Little Cabin.  Cooking hotdogs and s’mores in the fire stack on the beachside.
I have heard story after story of the Lonesome Pine, carved with the love of my parents before I was ever even a thought.  Trips to Big Deep Portage to learn about the wildlife, and countless hours spent doing handstands and flips in the warmest, cleanest water you will ever find.
I can picture Cooper sitting on the green chairs in the kitchen dealing out the last round of poker, chasing George and Shot around the place, and learning to fish, boat and swim.  I can see him skipping clams, looking for leeches in the crick, and running around covered with mosquito bites because he won’t sit still long enough to get a good coating of bug spray.
I have so many amazing memories of sharing this incredible place with my family and friends.  I cannot wait for Cooper to learn to love Big Deep, and get to know the family I love more than anything.

We got so lucky to find Brooke Jakubov at Images by Brooke, a wife of one of my coworkers, to help document the growth of our boy from day one.  Cooper was so sleepy, which was perfect!  Here are some of my favorite images she took of Cooper when he was 2 weeks old.

He is amazing!  He barely every cries, he sleeps great, he eats great, he could not be cooler!  He started at 6 lbs 10 oz when he was born and when we left the hospital he was 6 lbs 3 oz.  But he quickly regained weight, and was thriving!
I was still feeling great, better and better each day.  Cory thankfully was able to stay home for the week, and get some great time with Cooper and I.
Over the first week, we had even more visitors who came to smother our little guy with love . . .

We had made it through the first night, with great success!  Our little William was feeding great, he barely made a peep, stretched out, soaked up some sunlight for the first time, laid wide-eyed taking in the new world around him.
Then it was time for his circumcision.  I took him down to the nursery. . . Cory didn’t really want to see it, and I totally understood!  As we stood in the nursery waiting, I was standing over him just looking at him and wondering who he was going to be.  We had been calling him William since he was born.  It was the name that I had wanted from day one.  It is my grandfathers name, a strong name, and we would call him Will.  But something just wasn’t right about it for our little guy.  The more I looked at him, William just didn’t seem like his name.  So, I asked hin, “What do you want to be called?  William or Cooper?” and then he pooped.  He had picked his name.  He will forever be known as “Pooper Cooper”.
Just before the procedure began, Cory knocked on the nursery door.  I can’t say that either of us watched too much of what happened, but Cooper made it through like a champ.  A few screams subsided after a little sugar water, and we were on our way.  They later checked out his hearing, responses, and concluded he was a healthy little guy.  I was so relieved and excited!

Throughout his first day we had so many amazing visitors in the hospital, and it was very clear how much love surrounds us, we are all so blessed!

After 24 hours in the hospital, we were ready to get our son home!
It had been such a whirl wind experience, we came in as a couple, and we were leaving as parents.  Responsible for the growth, development, well bieng, and happiness of another human being for the rest of our lives.  Wow, what an amazing and joyous challenge we have ahead of us!
After his first car ride home, with a packed car, and car seat expertly put together – thanks to Cory – we introduced Cooper to his brothers, George and Shot.  They didn’t really want anything to do with him.  A few sniffs, a few nose nudges and they were back on their way.
We settled in for our first night alone, lots of feeding, lots of sleeping, and barely any crying – except me when I looked at him.  Must have been the hormones

We found out about the greatest gift of our life on August 17th, 2009.  The greatest surprise anyone could ever receive!
That November I made the move to St Michael to a beautiful home that Cory had purchased in September.  It is in a great family neighborhood with a park down the street and ball fields filled with kids during the summer.

THE PREGNANCY
I had an amazing pregnancy, no pain, no problems, a few more hormones, but what can you expect when you are growing a little one.  All of his fingers and toes, eyes, heart, lungs, and even the littlest of things like nails and eyelashes were growing inside of me.  It is such an unbelievable miracle to think that is going on as you go about your normal day, unaware of every little progression.
I read the books, and then decided the books freaked me out, so I stopped.  I watched YouTube videos, and then decided they freaked me out, so I stopped.  All I knew is that he was growing inside of me, which is unreal, and that at some point he would be coming out and joining our world.  A whole different set of excitement and fear ensued when I thought of how that was going to happen.

We began preparing for our little one to arrive.  After a few doctors appointments, we finally were to the date we had been waiting for. . .November 16, 2009.  It was finally 20 weeks, and we were able to have an ultrasound to see if we were going to have a boy or a girl.
Cory had kept saying “I don’t care what it is, as long as it is healthy”, and I kept wanting a boy.  I knew what I was like, and know that a whole bunch of payback was in store if we had a girl.

So, after laying there in the dark, holding hands and just hoping for a healthy baby. . . boy . . . the technician diligently looked at every inch, checking the spine, the fingers, the toes, the heart, the brain, and finally. . . she said “It’s a boy?????”.  She was not 100% sure.  But we were.  We were having a BOY!!!!!  We began making phone calls and sending texts to everyone.  The first phone call Cory made I heard him say, “It’s a boy, that’s just what I wanted!”  I knew it, hehehe.
We were going to have a seemingly healthy baby boy.  It became so real.
We started thiking of what he might be like, all of the things we wanted to teach him, all of the people we wanted him to get to know.  He was already surrounded by so much love, and he wasn’t even here yet.
Before we knew it Thanksgiving had come and gone. Might I suggest for everyone, men and women, to buy a pair of maternity pants for Thanksgiving, it was awesome!! I took a trip in early December to visit Aaron and Berit in New York.  On December 12th, we were hanging out at their apartment, and I felt our little man kick for the first time while I was touching my belly.  The first person, other than me, to feel him move was Uncle Aaron, and then Auntie Berit.  It was such an amazing day.  The whole experience was getting more and more real.
Soon after it was finally 2010.  The year our boy was going to join our family.

Cory and I started taking the classes, How to Care for your Newborn, and a whole class dedicated to the labor and delivery.  Cory even rented a whole Newborns for Dummies series off of Netflix and watched them all.
I have to say, I was much less freaked out about raising our son after he was born than the idea of how I was going to have to get him out.
I started to research again, and had seen and heard a few things that water birth was the way to go.  Calmer, gentler, less invasive, less restricting than being stuck on a bed, and less painful – which to be honest was the most appealing part to me.
So it was set, I was going to do a water birth.  I would send Cory videos of what it was like, and purchased a book that talked about the benefits and showed pictures of what to expect.  Cory said he would support me in whatever I wanted to do, which he had gotten extremely good at saying.  Well done Cory!  He however was not exited about the “shark attack” experience, as he called it, but was willing to go for it if I wanted. So, water birth it was.

After 4 baby showers from amazing family, friends and coworkers, we were more than set!  We found a nursery set on craigslist that fit perfectly in the room, the room was painted, clothes were in the drawers and closets, diapers and wipes were in position.  But the most amazing thing that was done to prepare the nursery was Cory’s mural.  Cory found a farm scene that was perfect for the decor of the room, and he began painting.  Nearly every night for months Cory spent hours painting.  He is so unbelievably talented!  It was the most amazing gift he could have given his son, and me!

So, everything was in place, the bags were packed, and we were as ready as you can be when you have no clue how your world is going to change.  And then it started, so we thought.  The night of April 3rd, the night before Easter Sunday, Cory and I were relaxing and watching a movie.  All of a sudden with a loud noise on TV, I woke up (because I fall asleep every time we watch a movie) and felt like my water had broke.  The smiles were glued to our faces, we were so excited that the day was finally here.  We called the midwife, and she said that as long as I was comfortable and ok, that we could just sit tight and go to the hospital in the morning.  The night was uneventful, other than almost being too excited to sleep.  We woke in the morning, bags packed, and headed into the hospital ready to meet our little man.
Well . . . false alarm.  We put our tails between our legs and left the hospital, and joined Cory’s family at The Medina Ballroom for brunch, and then went to my Grandma & Grandpa Dunstone’s for a late Easter lunch.  And then, back to work on Monday as if nothing has happened.  But, we knew we didn’t have much time to wait, his due date was April 5th.  So it would be soon.
At about 7 pm on Monday I was working at the office and started having waves of gas pain.  It was so annoying, I would have to stand up at my desk to relieve them.  And then it dawned on me. . . waves of pain, due date today, oh my God, those are contractions!!!  They were more in my back, and not in my stomach so I had not even thought about that possibility.
I called Cory right away, and hurredly gathered my things to make the 45 minute drive home to be with Cory, trying to track the contractions time as I went.  I was almost busting out of my skin when I waslked into the door.  It was finally time!  Cory immediately took out his timer and started tracking the contractions.  They hurt, so I thought….  We called the midwife again, and she said to get as much rest as we could, and come in when they were about 3 to 4 minutes apart conistently.
They got stronger and stronger, and closer and then farther, and closer and farther.  There was not much consistency, other than the fact that they hurt.  Everytime they came on there was a build-up where I felt like I had to stand up and move.  The pain was in my lower back, and Cory was amazing with helping me by pushing my hips together.  I would sit for a few minutes, then get up and have one, then sit down for a few minutes, then stand up and have one.  Cory drew me a bath with candles and music, and I tried to relax . . . good luck, but I am so appreciative of Cory for trying.
We went in to the midwife in the morning for our regularly scheduled appointment, and I was starting to dialate, but barely at all.  She sent us back home to keep getting as much rest as we could.  The contractions kept up all day, and into the night.  At about midnight I told Cory to go to bed to get some rest.  He had been so awesome, and there was no reason for both of us to be exhausted.  I continued to have contractions, and holy crap were they starting to hurt.  I don’t know if they were getting stronger, or I was getting weaker and less tollerant of them.  At nearly 6 am, I couldn’t take it anymore.  I woke Cory up, and said that they were about 4 minutes apart, and had been for a few hours.  He had a mild freak out that I didn’t wake him sooner, and we started to get ready to go.
Of course it was right in the middle of rush hour traffic when we finally got on the road.  We sat on 94, barely moving as I had one contraction after another.  I could see that Cory was getting a little nervous, but he was trying to be so strong.  We finally made it to the hospital, where he and I walked up to the labor and delivery area, where we were taking our last walk before becoming parents.

We checked in, got to the room, I got into the backless gown and started settling into the room.  By this time it was 7:30 am, and the midwife came in to check out how we were doing.  I was dialated to a 5 – YEAH!!  It seemed like everything was progressing, just as it should.  However, we were told that the water birth tub was in use. . . uh oh.  The contractions kept going, and I took another bath to try to help with the pain – no luck.  My dad came by at around 10:30, and still the contractions kept going.  At about 1:30, the midwife came back in to check again.  I was dialted to a 5 – NO!!!  No progression, and lots of contractions all for nothing.  I have to admit, I was a little peeved.  And then, a bit of bad news. . . .the water birth tub had sprung a leak.  What?  There went my plan.  I was so tired, and the contractions were nothing but horrible, and I had stalled dialating.  How much longer was I going to have to do this?  So I asked the midwife what she suggested doing, and she said pitossin and an epidural and get the show on the road.
I had gone into this not wanting any drugs, WHY?  Maybe I just wanted to be tough, maybe it was because I was scared of needles and IV’s, maybe it was because I was just plain STUPID!!!  Thank God the tub sprung a leak!  Now it was clear, I was 100% all about having drugs to take the pain away and speed things up.   The nurses came in and started me an IV of pitossin, and said it would take about 20-30 minutes to kick in.  In that time the epidural was set to be put in.  They lied.  Almost immediately, I am not sure of if it was just my head, or my body anticipating the drugs, or the drugs kicking in, but the contractions were 5 times stronger, and on top of one another.  While they were putting the epidural in, I was doing my best to sit perfectly still during the contractions – OUCH!!  But, once the epidural was in the pain stopped as if someone had flipped a light switch.

And then, I slept, and slept.  For almost 5 hours I slept – finally!  Cory went to the waiting room to visit with his parents, his sister and her kids, and my parents who were patiently waiting most of the day.  I woke up, and felt amazing, rested, and pain free.  One thing I did wake up to was my water breaking.  I didn’t even feel it, just noticed the aftermath

I texted Cory to come in and bring a nurse with him.  Alycia and the kids came too.  They checked, and yep, I was dialated to a 9 and my water had broke – I couldn’t believe I had slept through all of that!  As I sat and chatted with Alycia and Cory I must have winced a little and Alycia asked me what was up.  I said that it felt weird, like pressure down there.  She immediately called the nurse in, and yep – the show was definitely on the road!
The nurse and midwife came in, and the furniture in the room changed like “Transformers”, as Cory says, to equipment needed for delivery.
And I began to push, with Cory holding my hand and encouraging me every step of the way.  I’ll say it again, THANK GOD for the epidural!  And for the tub springing a leak!  And for Cory!
25 minutes later, I heard the midwife ask Cory if he wants to catch our son.  There was no hesitation from the same man that had said he didn’t want to be anywhere near the waist or below during the delivery.  Not that I was opposed to him staying above the waist.  Cory was the first person to touch our son, it was the most amazing experience of my entire life.  I am positive that he would say the same thing.
Or son was here!  Little William was here! (I’ll explain later)

He was 6 lbs 10 ounces and 20 inches long.  Healthy, calm, bright-eyed, and gorgeous!  He barely even cried.  Cory cut the cord, and they placed him on my chest.  HE WAS PERFECT!!!  I never quite got it when people said that you never know how much you can love something until you have a child.  I get it.  I definitely get it!
I don’t think anyone could have told Cory or I that it would go like this, or be this amazing.  And it was just the beginning!

I later found out that our waiting room group had been listening at the door, even after being told by the nurses that they needed to leave.  Such rebels!  They knew he had arrived when someone said “Well, Hello!”  It was the Catherine the midwife welcoming our son to the world.
The next 24 hours were a whirl-wind!  Visitors, pictures, feedings, diapers, a little sleep, a lot of hugs and kisses, a smile that would not go away, and lots of learning about who our son was, and how our lives were changed forever.