When we arrived at the hospital that Sunday morning, I was dilated to a 2…just like when we arrived for Cooper.  I was so relieved to learn that it was not too late to get an Epidural…yay!!  So we got comfy in the most luxurious hospital room I had ever been in.  It was huge!  The bathroom had a massive tub, and was the size of our bedroom at home.  It had a huge bed for Cory to sleep on, where he didn’t have to battle with the bars stabbing him in the back.  We were ready to get the show on the road!

Everything looked good.  I got the Epidural, thank God, and they started me on Pitocin to get things going.  My parents, and Aaron and Berit started heading our way from Iowa, and Dave and Ginny headed back from the Lake.  Soon we would meet our little Crosby!  In my head we had only a few hours until that awesome moment.  The Pitocin would do what it does, and the Epidural would keep me comfortable, the Dr. would check me in a few hours and she would tell me it was time to push.  25 minutes later we would have our beautiful boy in our arms.  Man, that would have been awesome!  I guess it was not supposed to happen that way again.

It had never even entered my brain for one second that I might have to have a C-Section.  Labor with Cooper was long, a few days of  horrible contractions, but overall, not bad.  It is not like I am a small woman, with small hips.  I have no health concerns, and neither did our baby that we knew of.  I had done this before, and with all of the stories you hear about the second being so much quicker, I practically thought he would fly out on his own while I was driving to work or something.

As the hours went by, things were seemingly moving right along.  I was getting pumped full of Pitocin, I was comfortable, I was progressing.  Morning turned into afternoon, and afternoon into evening.  Everyone arrived, and waited…and waited.   I truly thought that things were just fine, and when the Dr. checked me at about 5pm, I was finally dialated to 9 cm.  The time was almost here!!  As everyone waited patiently, the nurse (whom I wasn’t too fond of by the way) said that she thought Crosby was turned.  The Dr. checked, and sure enough the little bugger was facing to one side with his shoulders up and down.  So they had me change my position in bed, moved me all around, on my knees and elbows, on my side…he wouldn’t move.  A few weeks before I had watched “A Baby Story” on TLC, and a woman had the same problem and the Dr’s were able to manipulate her baby to move from the outside.  It looked painful, but worked.  So even with this news, I was completely and blissfully optimistic.

When I asked the Dr if she could just move the baby from the outside, the news was not at all what I had expected.  Evidently that could not be done unless I was dialated to a 10.   Because it seemed that I had stalled out at 9, they couldn’t do it.  She gave me the option of going into a C-Section, or waiting one hour to see if I got to a 10 on my own.  Crosby’s head was down, engaged, and had been there for quite awhile.  The massive amount of Pitocin I had made her worry that my Uterus was working too hard and I could run the risk of having extensive bleeding.  I seriously couldn’t even believe what I was hearing.  How was that even possible?  This was my second kid, and the first was so easy….this couldn’t be happening.

Cory had my mom come into the room.  She had experienced this, and he thought that she would be able to comfort me better.  I don’t know that anything could have comforted me at that time.  I was completely freaked out.  Even typing this right now there are tears welling up in my eyes.  I had never had surgery in my life.  I was so mad.  So mad that I was not going to have the same beautiful experience that I had had with Cooper.  Mad that I was going to have a much harder recovery.  A scar.  A cut through my abdominal muscles – as if it wasn’t hard enough to get even a few muscles back after Cooper, now they would be cut.  To think that I would have to be sitting in an operating room, with a sheet up, and a bunch of strangers looking inside my body.  Having everyone in the room see my baby before me, hold my baby before me.  That I would not be able to have the same connection with my son as I had previously with Cooper.  I was devastated.  I still am I guess.

There was no choice.  The hour came and went and I was not at a 10.  There was no alternative, and things moved so fast the second that realization came about.  People flocked in.  It was like I had lost all control.  Cory suited up.  He told the crew waiting in the lounge what was happening and I was prepped for surgery.  I was moved onto a different bed, brought to a pre-op room to have sheets put on me, and start the proper drugs for the procedure.  It was so cold.  I couldn’t stop my teeth and jaw from chattering.  I don’t know if I was actually cold, or if it was the cold drugs pumping through me, or straight up fear.  Either way, it was uncontrollable.  I was wheeled into the operating room, where a team of people I had never seen before stood in front of trays of cold steel instruments that they were going to use to cut me open.

I remember Cory standing next to me.  Telling me I was going to be ok.  Without his words, his hand holding mine, I honestly think I might have lost it.  I was crying, with tears pooling in my eyes as I laid there.  A large blue sheet in front of me with blood splatters on it.  I thought I was going to throw up, so they gave me anti-nausea medicine.  It seemed like forever, I was laying there just waiting for the moment that I would hear Crosby cry and make every minute of this hell worth it.

And then it happened….I felt the weight of my baby leave my body.  He was finally out.  They rushed him over to the side to clear his lungs.  There was the fear of the Merconium still, so they had to act quickly.  Cory went over to him immediately.  And then I heard him cry.  My baby was ok, he was finally here!  I wish that I could say that from that moment on, the previous few hours just washed away, but they didn’t.  They still haven’t.  I know that someday my beautiful boy Crosby will read this, and I want him to know one thing…it was worth every second!  I will never forget how he came into the world.  I know I am not the only woman on this planet who had to have an emergency C-Section.  I realize that many women have had it WAY worse than I.  I am probably one of the most stubborn people I know.  I had a plan, and this was not in it.  But at the end of it all, when I look past the events of that day and night, there is one thing that will stay with me forever…I gave birth to a gorgeous little human being named Crosby, who made me and our family complete.  It was worth every second!

The “plan” had always been to have another kiddo.  Neither of us wanted to rob Cooper of the joy of a sibling, or ourselves of the experience of having more than one.  After about a year, I started to get the itch for another, but held it in, as we really wanted to give them some space.  Let them have their own identities, spend a good amount of time with Cooper before we brought another one in to steal his time….but after about 1 1/2 years, the itch grew too strong.  Thoughts of my mom came into my head.  There were 4 years between my brother and I, not necessarily by choice, but because Aaron didn’t come as soon as they had hoped.  I was surrounded by friends and coworkers that were having problems getting pregnant, and I was getting nothing but older each month.  I had convinced myself that it would take awhile to get pregnant, and the sooner we started trying, the better.  Well, lets just say we didn’t have any problems getting pregnant.  2 months after “trying”, that little plastic stick showed two lines.  They would turn out to be 2 years and 2 months apart.

I have to say, things were a bit different the second time around.  Things hurt a little more, I gained a bit more weight, I was more tired, more exhausted really.  It might have been because there was a rambunctious 1 1/2 year old running around…or I was just older, or just because it was the second time around.  Because I was officially “old” at 35, and considered high risk because of that fact, we did have a few perks.  We had the full gamut of testing at our disposal.  Extra ultrasounds, genetic testing and screening to ensure there were no problems, and specialists just waiting to help if there were.  At 12 weeks, we had our first ultrasound, which showed our little man with a little bit of a thickening on his neck, which could be a sign of a problem.  We were reassured to wait for the next ultrasound at 20 weeks to see what was going on.  A little bit of a scare.  Luckily, at our 20 week he was shown to be just perfect!

Unlike with Cooper, the ultrasound tech was positive about the fact that he was a BOY!  All boy, no doubt about it this time!  I will admit, that as many times as I have said out loud and in my head that I did not want to have a girl (for fear of having to deal with a little me), I had a brief (sorry Crosby) moment of sadness at the fact that I will never have a girl.  I thought about how I would never coach a daughter how to play softball, or have a wedding for her, or help her navigate her teenage years (YEAH RIGHT!  WASN’T SAD ABOUT THAT AT ALL!).  Cory was great, as usual.  He quickly said, “Well you know that if we were having a girl she would look like me, so it is really for the best.”  That fleeting moment of sadness was over quickly!  We were going to have two boys…the Wiest boys.  Look out world!

As things went on, and I got bigger and bigger, there was a little concern that I might have gestational diabetes.  So after failing the quick 1 hour test I needed to do the 3 hour test (which is made up of 4 blood draws).  I passed with flying colors….both times they made me do it.  I still think it is a way for them to make more money, and they set the criteria super low to make you do additional testing.  Sorry insurance company!  But, I guess at the end of the day, it is good to know that everything was ok and so was he.

One of the biggest differences between my pregnancy with Cooper and this one was that I had to change doctors.  With Cooper I was able to go to a midwife (which came from me wanting a water birth – not even an option that crossed my mind with this one since I had learned that an Epidural is the only way to go).  Although I liked my new Nurse Practitioner, it just wasn’t the same.  The communication was much less, and I felt like the level of genuine concern just wasn’t there.  It was as though because I had been through this before that I should understand everything, and didn’t need my hand held.  I guess some of the blame should go onto me with this since I am a bit stubborn, and really did think I knew everything at the beginning.  However as my hormones kicked in higher, that communication and relationship I had with the midwife really would have been nice.  Just ask Cory about me hitting the median in the hospital parking lot as I left one of my later term appointments, crying, and didn’t even know I did it….unbelievable!  I give Cory a ton of credit for having to deal with me and my hormones with this one!  Glad he has thick skin!

We had our third ultrasound at 40 weeks, when he was supposed to show his face soon.  We begged the tech to tell us how big he was (not the normal thing I guess, but she did it reluctantly).  He was measuring around 8 lbs.  Not small, but not huge either.  I really felt like I needed to know, so I could mentally prepare for the job of getting him out.  I could handle 8 lbs….I thought.

As we got closer to the big day, I had contractions, then they stopped, had contractions, then they stopped.  I stayed home from work on Friday, hoping to walk and get organized and avoid going into labor at work.  It worked, the contractions started.  Then they stopped.  Nothing all day Saturday either.   At the time I thought it was pretty annoying, but looking back it was a good thing.  My cousin Hayley was getting married on Saturday to Cory in Iowa.  This meant that my parents, Aaron and Berit were in Iowa, over 4 hours away.  They were able to go to the wedding and that was a great thing, as I wished that I was able to be there too.

Sunday morning, still no progress, so Cory went fishing with Chad and Gary.  I had some contractions, but with the way things had been going, I wasn’t too concerned, so I just told Cory to have his phone.  He was only 30 minutes away, so no biggie.  Of course, Murphy’s Law, my water broke at about 9 am.  That was something that I hadn’t been through with Cooper, and let me tell you, not at all what I expected.  I did notice that the water wasn’t clear, it was more brown.  Not a good thing.  This meant that there was meconium in the water, or poop.  They say that increases the risk of the baby breathing it in, and having problems after breathing, so it changed the tone a little from there.  I called Cory and told him, and he rushed to get the boat out and get home.  Kim came over and found out that my contractions had increased and there was meconium in the water and kind of increased my concern, rightfully so.  So while we waited, I got the bags in the car, and waited in the garage with a towel to catch the water…nice picture huh?  When Cory pulled up, he jumped in the van, and we were on our way to the Maple Grove Hospital.

I called my parents, Aaron, Alycia, Dave and Ginny on the way to the hospital.  Just hoping that things were going to go fast from here.  But praying that they weren’t going too fast that I would be too late to get an Epidural once we reached the hospital….my greatest fear!  When we pulled up, Cory dropped me off, and I waddled into the hospital with a towel between my legs taking breaks to deal with the contractions along the way.  Cory came in, bags in tow, and we made our way to the Labor and Delivery area.  Unlike the first time around, we hadn’t even been to that area of the hospital and had to ask where to go.  Guess we were not as freaked this time about the unknowns – but it turns out we should have been.

For Cooper’s 2nd birthday, we decided to make his celebration a bit lower key than his first.  Thankfully.  I loved having everyone for his 1st birthday, but it was too much.  I wanted to be able to really spend time with him, playing, and enjoying it rather than throwing and hosting a big party.  Because his birthday is so close to Easter, we are fortunate to be able to spend time with all of our extended families, and then have time to celebrate Cooper.  With the Allar’s and Dunstone clan, we opted for Red Robin for some good burgers, fries and some ice cream cake.  We had Granny Pat, Bumpa, Great Grandpa and Great Grandma Allar, Randy, Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Dunstone and Deb.  We were all so excited for the ice cream cake from DQ….but someone forgot to instruct me to let it thaw….oops.  Guess that was a step I forgot.  Cory did his best to power through it with the knife I brought, nearly chopping his hand off.  He managed to get 2 pieces off before giving up.  Everyone should thank me for saving them the calories 🙂  Except then we brought it home and ate off of it for the next week – great.

We then went up to Cory’s cabin and were able to celebrate with Gamma and Papa, Sheesha and Ary, Dylan and his cousin.  It was a great weekend!  Cooper got some pretty cool stuff!  He got a race track, and a remote control car.  So fun!  Then on Sunday morning we celebrated Easter.

I brought out my old blue blow up Easter Bunny that smells like my parents basement, and 35 years worth of stale air when you blow it up….icky, but nostalgic.  Ary led Cooper around to find all of Easter eggs and Cooper got tons of candy in his basket.  We even found bunny tracks in the living room that led to some more eggs.  It was so fun to watch him starting to get it a little.  We had some breakfast than then loaded up the car to get to an Easter Egg hunt in Minong…and got there late so we missed it.  A few hours later we were able to make an Egg hunt the city put on.  There were TONS of kids!  They all lined up in a row, and they counted down and everyone started running like crazy to grab as many eggs as possible.  Auntie Sheesha, as competitive as she is, led Cooper out way past the other kids so there would be less kids to contend with.  He is so lucky, he will learn all the tricks by the time he grows up!  We then went to grab some lunch at Grandma Links in Minong, and they had an egg hunt too.  Ary found the golden egg, and got a special price, and the rest of the kids loaded up with TONS of candy.  There were only about 5 kids doing it, and it looked like they had planned for like 50 kids…needless to say, there baskets were overflowing.  We had a great time!  The only hiccup in the weekend was right before we left for the second Egg Hunt.  Cooper was running away from Cory as we were trying to get going in the car.  He tripped and did a header right into a rock.  The right side of his forehead ballooned up into what looked like a golf ball, and fast!  We grabbed some ice and held it on there the whole way there.  Man, we will be lucky if this kid doesn’t have brain damage!

Cooper is by far the “most advanced” kid I know for his age.  I say that with sarcasm, with a hint of truth.  I have always said that because I have not been around many kids that I am pretty unaware of what they should be doing developmentally at different ages.  But from what I hear, he is pretty advanced:-)  He talks like a 4 year old, started walking like a champ at just over 9 months, and has kept us moving ever since.  He really is an amazing kid!  He has a beautufully kind nature and is a social butterfly, making friends whenever we go to new situations.

He plays so well with the girls next door.  He calls Addison next door Honey.  TOO CUTE!  He talks about his “friends”, and really loves them. It has been so awesome being able to bring him nextdoor for daycare.  Gary is an awesome guy.  He loves Cooper as if he is his own.  It is like Cooper has two sisters, which I think is great!  It will be a good lesson for him to be around girls.  He is learning the softer side, playing with Barbies…Cory loves that.

Before Coopers little brother came along, we wanted to make sure to spend some special time with just him and us.  One weekend we took a trip to the Minnesota Zoo.  Gamma, Papa, Alycia, Ary and Dylan came with Coop and I.  Cory was unable to make it.  Because I was about to pop, it was starting to get kind of uncomfortable walking, so I got to use one of the electric carts.  Super embarrasing, but fun!  He loved watching the monkeys with Ary, and then thanks to Sheesha and Dylan dangling him over the touch pond he got to touch a Sea Urchin.  It is so awesome watching him run around seeing all of these new things for the first time.  He loves it, and I love just watching him.

Cooper also took at trip to Underwater World at the MOA with Cory.  I had to work, boo.  Cooper has been there I am pretty sure 4 times on “field trips” with Gary, and I have never been there.

When it finally got hot enough, we were able to take Cory’s fishing boat out to Lake Beebee and did some swimming and fishing.  He is getting more and more comfortable swimming, which is awesome!  He is not very good about keeping his mouth closed, as he is always smiling and laughing, so he gets some good gulps of lakewater, ick.  It was such a beautiful day.  Watching Cory throw him up in the air and him splashing around is one of the greatest sights I could see.  Cory is so amazing with him!

Soon he will be a big brother…..I hope he will still feel special and loved.  I guess only time will tell what he will think.

This, by far, has been the most amazing year of my life.  Just over one year ago, I was just Courtney.  Now I am Mama.  Responsible for the happiness, safety, nourishment, and love of another being.  It is the most important job any human being could ever want or need.  I no longer have the luxury or doing what I want, when I want. . . THANK GOD!  I struggle to even remember what life was like before Cooper.  What did I do with my time, all of that extra time.  I can definitely say, without a doubt, nothing important.
Don’t get me wrong, I am still Courtney.  I still do what I want, maybe just not always when I want.  I do have to say that I am an extremely lucky woman to have a guy like Cory.  He understands the importance of having time for yourself, and is always more than willing to watch Cooper so I can have some time to myself.  He is quite possibly the most amazing dad out there.  He is so hands-on, fun, and can always get Coop to giggle that really deep giggle.  The kind of giggle that is contagious.  He lays on the floor playing with toys, teaches him any chance he can, is firm yet extremely loving, and is Cooper’s best friend.  I am so grateful that my son will have such an amazingly strong, moral, and silly influence.  Cooper and I are very fortunate to have him!

As a working mom, with a 45 minute commute, I unfortunately have missed a few key things.  But, with digital cameras, a flip video camera, and Cory to fill me in on all of the details I am lucky to have not missed too much.  I was extremely fortunate to be able to take 6 weeks off of work after he was born.  It was not nearly enough!

We left the hospital on Thursday night, and had our first visit to the pediatrician on the following Monday.  Cooper was “thriving” the doctor said!  Each appointment after, the 2 month and then 4 month have been all A’s for our little guy!  He was in the 50-75% range for height, weight and head measurements.  He was developmentally exactly where he should be.

From day-one, Cooper has wanted to stand.  He was in the excersaucer and Johnny Jump-Up at just over 3 months.  He began to sit on his own at around 3.5 months, but has always been strong with good head control.

At 4 months we were pretty sure he started to teethe, and by 5.5 months he is on the move crawling, and pulling himself up on furniture.  Time is flying by!  I am pretty sure Cory has spent hours and hours after work working with Cooper to crawl (during his Cooper and dada time before mommy gets home).  I am also pretty postitive that when Cooper says his first word it will be “dada” . . . since Cory has spent countless hours repeating it to him.  Not fair!

Cooper’s First Crawl

Cory is always the first one to try new things with Coop.  New outfits (most of the time matching), new toys, sitting, crawling, eating, outside, johnny jump up, you name it – Cory keeps Coop moving!  I am definitely not as good at cultivating his development, I just enjoying where we are. . . I need to work on that.

Today 10/1/10, Cooper pulled himself up on Granny Pat’s Barrel Chair.  She didn’t know this when she bought it, she just thought it was cute and the perfect size for Coop, but Cooper means The Barrel Maker.
This is the first time he pulled himself up on something other than us.  It isn’t pretty, but he did it!

Cooper the Barrel Maker

At Katie’s birthday party the last weekend in September, Auntie Sheesha took Cooper to the park to swing for the first time.  He also got to spend some fun time on the slide, and even thought about climbing the wall – yeah right.  He really loved riding in the little car though!

Cooper’s First Swing at the Park

Starting in early September, when Cooper turned 5 months, we started to feed him Rice cereal.  He loves it!  Here he is at Granny Pat and Grandpa Ron’s house having some cereal in a family heirloom.  A highchair built by Cooper’s Great, Great Grandpa James Allar.  It was used for virtually all of the Allar’s . . . not quite sure how sanitary it is

Coop Eats Like a Champ

The Story of the Highchair

At just around 6.5 months, Cooper started to say the greatest words I have ever heard. . . “Ma Ma”.  He never quite directs it to me, and I think it is just a noise he makes, but man does it sound great!  Sometimes he will also say “Ba Ba”, but not quite “Da Da” yet.  I am sure it will be coming soon!

The end of Oct, 28th to be exact, Cooper had his first fever.  It was 102.9, and I have to say I kind of freaked out a little.  Cory was very calm, and I panicked.  A little Tylenol, and he was out for the night.  Up a few times, but just a little fuss and then right back to bed.  It was right before Halloween, so I was so glad when it didn’t last!

Coop’s first Halloween!  Here is our little Chicken Coop. . .

I have to say, Cory is one amazing sport!  Not only did he let me dress Cooper in a chicken costume, instead of a super hero or Yoda, but he even wore a costume.  I have to admit, I didn’t really think he would do it.  We had a halloween “costume” party to go to at the neighbors house . . . . but not one other person dressed up.  It was pretty funny!  After the party, I walked down the block and back with Coop Trick or Treating.  It was a beautiful night, perfect for meeting some of the neighbors.  Cory hung back at home and handed out candy to the over 140 kids that came by.  We have the perfect neighborhood for Coop to grow up in!  There were tons of kids running around!

This year brought Cooper’s first Thanksgiving!  Although he didn’t get to eat mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing and turkey, he sure did get to see EVERYONE in the family!  We celebrated over at Granny Pat and Grandpa Ron’s house along with the other 26 people!  Aaron and Berit weren’t able to come home, but they will be visiting for Christmas, so we are very excited about that!  I don’t think Cory or I spent more than 10 minutes holding Coop the whole time.  He was passed from great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, to cousins and second cousins.  It was great watching Matthew and Meghan “practice” for their expected arrival – we are so excited for them!  Matt has a little ways to go before he will look half-way comfortable, but he will pick it up quick I am sure!  It was a great night, and it was very easy to see the many reasons we all have to be thankful!
The next morning, Cory and I packed up the dogs and Coop to head to his family cabin in Wisconsin.  Shortly behind us was Granny Pat, Grandpa Ron and Great Grandpa Dale.  Dave, Cory’s dad had invited the guys up for the last weekend of deer hunting on their land about 35 minutes from their cabin.  Cory’s family spends Thanksgiving at the cabin, so there was quite the crew up there for the weekend.  Us, my parents, Grandpa Dale, Cory’s sister Alycia and her daughter Ary, and Cory’s parents. . . oh, and don’t forget the 6 dogs.  Thankfully there are plenty of rooms and beds for everyone to sleep more than comfortably!
While the boys went out and tried to shoot the big ones. . . sorry to say, unsuccessfully. . . the ladies and Coop headed to Duluth to do a little shopping.  We had such a great time!  Ate a great lunch!  And best of all, we got to bring Cooper to visit Santa for the first time!  He was so cute, he just sat there staring at him, feeling his beard.  He didn’t cry or fuss at all!  We got some great photos of Ary and Coop and then a group shot of all of us.  We spent the rest of the weekend, eating, talking, telling stories, and getting to know each other.  I know my parents and grandpa really enjoyed getting to know Cory’s family!  It was a great time!

2 days before Cooper’s 9 months on this earth he started walking!  Unbelievable!  He had taken a few steps hear-and-there before, but this time he really started taking off.  I came home to find Coop and Cory playing in the basement, as usual, and sat on the floor with them.  Cory had the idea to sit about 10 feet apart and try to talk him into coming to each of us.  It was so fun watching him get excited and so proud when he could do it.  We got farther upart and he kept going.  He walked back and forth for about 20 minutes, getting smoother and faster each time.  It was amazing!  Of course we had left our video camera next door at the daycare for the big day.  Bad mommy moment!
So, after a few days, we got the camera back.  Check out the video of the new walker!

Two different days this fall we had the opportunity to take some photos in the gorgeous fall colors!  It was October, and 80+ degrees. . . of course.  That’s OK, it gave us all a healthy glow – when we weren’t dripping with sweat!
Our first trip was to The Arboretum with Alycia and Ary for some pictures with Alycia’s friend Carey.  He is an amazing photographer who is just starting out and wanted to get some shots to build his portfolio.  We are very lucky that he was willing to do this.

After Coop and I got home, and took a little nap, Cory, Coop and I headed out to Minnetonka Orchard with Brooke, Ryan and Ava Jakubov.  Brooke is the photographer that has taken all of the photos of Cooper, and Ryan and I work together at WeatherNation.  They are so sweet!  We checked out the apples, the goats, the corn maze, and walked through the trails.  It was a gorgeous – 80+ degree day.  Brooke was nice enough to snap a few pictures of us (after an outfit change).  There is no way we could have lasted in sweaters and long sleeves for the whole time!

I can’t believe how incredibly fast the last 6 months has come and gone.  It is so weird to think that one year ago at this time I was packing up my house in Minnetonka to get ready to move to St Michael with Cory.  SO much can change in one small year.  When I think back to that time it seems like yesterday, but at the same time in seems like years.  Life just has this way of turning out.  If someone had told me that this is where I would be, and that I would be a mom, and have an amazing boyfriend who is the greatest dad a mother could ask for, and live in St Michael . . . I would have said “Not a chance”.  But thankfully, I got my chance.  My chance at experiencing the unbelievable and unconditional love for my son, and finally feeling and getting to know what true love is.  As much of a planner I thought I was, I never could have written this script, it would never have played out this way.

Here are the 6 month photos that we took with Brooke, and then Alycia, Ary and Coop and I did a session at the Arboretum on “hot” fall day.  We have such a gorgeous little guy – I know I am biased, but I don’t care 🙂

This truly has been the most amazing 6 months of my life.  It is going way too fast.  I realized the other night, while talking with Cory’s sister Alycia, that I am struggling a little with how fast this is going.  My baby is turning into a boy before my eyes.  Yes he is still a baby, but not at all what I expected.  He is crawling around like crazy, climbing up stairs, getting into the cabinets and pulling himself up on bookcases, and chairs, and tables, and cabinets, and doors, and . . . . well, everything.  He is eating like a champ, putting down rice cereal like it is the last bowl on earth.  I know that I should be giving him real food now.  Developmentally he is more than ready.  The kid can hold his own bottle, and I would bet that if I let him for a few days, he would probably master a spoon.  However, there is something inside me holding it up.  I know it is not right, irrational even.  But, I don’t want this to go so fast.  I know I am being selfish.  I know.  But, I honestly expected to have at least another month of my little baby.  Helpless, and needing me.

He just stayed at Granny Pat and Grandpa Ron’s house last night – the whole night.  I woke up with panic in my chest thinking that I had slept through him crying.  I opened the door to his room and quickly remembered he was at Granny’s house.  It was the emptyiest feeling I have had in a long time.  I knew he was in the best of care, with people that love him probably as close to as much as I do, but it still was tough.  I think part of it was the realization that he was OK without me.  He doesn’t need me to eat anymore, in fact he doesn’t really even want to breast feed anymore.  He will go to anyone with a smile, and is happy and smiley pretty much anywhere – with or without me.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely know that these are all good things.  Great self esteem builders for him, all healthy advancements, all great things.  However, it still stings a little.  I think I just got my first real glimpse of the heartache of being a parent.  That at some point, your kids will not need you.  I just didn’t think I would have that realization at 6 months.

Our first trip with Cooper was Memorial Weekend to Cory’s parents lake home in Minong,Wisconsin.  It was just a few weeks after he was born, and we were amazed at how well he traveled!  He barely made a peep in the back, even with all of the loud music we played, and the sound of the dogs in the back.  We were even more surprised at how packed an Expedition can get with 2 adults, one little man, and 2 dogs.  Man did we need a lot of stuff!
We have been back to Wiestside a few more times during his first summer, 4th of July, Labor Day, and a few random weekends.  Cooper took his first swim out at Sand Island, after his first boat ride when Mama and Dada brought him out fishing.  He is such a fun kid!  He just goes with the flow, wherever we go, he is happy.

During our Labor Day trip, Cooper even got to come with Gamma G, Auntie Sheesha, Cousin Ary and Mama to Duluth.  We shopped, walked the town, and even got to go play in the rocks on the beech of Superior for the first time.  He had such a great time!

I am so excited for Cooper to get to spend time with Dada hunting, fishing, and hanging out on the hunting land just over 30 minutes from Minong.  I hope that he will learn to love nature as much as Cory does.  I am sure he will pick up on the respect for nature and animals, patience, persistence, and the ability to really relax and enjoy time by yourself in the quiet of the woods.  He will have to learn to care for the land, the cabin, and all of the toys.
I have no doubts that this is where he will ride his first dirt bike, snowmobile, 4×4 and even the Argo.  I can see him spending hours with DaDa in the garage learning about how to fix the brakes on one of the toys, or replace a windshield on something he crashed (hopefully with no major injuries).

He will learn to play cribbage with Gamma G, the right way, with no cheating . . . . unless totally necessary    He will play outside with all of his cousins, and the many dogs that will most likely always be a part of the family.
I am sure there will be hours and hours spent walking around the house with Papa while he shows him each of the animals he has hunted, teaching him about the places he has traveled and the people he as met.
Auntie Sheesha will be close by making sure he is warm enough, and giving out hugs and kisses as much as she can.

I am looking forward to this fall and winter to bring a few more 2.5 hour trips during the hunting season as well.  I am even thinking of getting out on their hunting land and trying it for myself for the first time.

Wiestside is a beautiful home, surrounded by serene nature, and filled with a loving family that I have no doubts will surround Cooper with love for all of his days.  He is one lucky boy!

The place that has been so special to me since I can remember is our family cabin, Russell’s Resort on Big Deep Lake.  There are pictures of me when I was little playing on the beach, splashing in the warm shallow water, and even getting a bath in the big bowl.   I feel so blessed that my son is going to be able to have all of those same experiences and memories!
This last June, while I was off playing (guilty mom moment), Cooper got to spend a whole week up at Big Deep with the Dunstone’s, the Allar’s, the Peterson’s and the Severson’s.  He splashed in the cool water, layed on the beach and even got to take a bath in the big bowl!  I am pretty sure that he never touched the ground, as everyone cared for him so well!  I even think that after only one week he must have gained 10 lbs!  He was huge when I got home!  Granny Pat said that everytime he fussed they thought that he must be hungery, so . . . . they fed him.

He was so lucky to get to spend time with Great Grandma Phyllis, Great Grandpa Willy, Great Grandpa Dale, Great Grandma Joanne, Great Uncle Randy, Great Aunt Deb, Great Aunt Barb, Great Uncle Craig, and. . . Joey, David, Cathy and Craig.  GG Phyllis told me later that “It was really nice getting to know him”.  That comment really made me think about how little time we really get to spend with our families these days.  It is hard to really get to know them, appreciate them, and make a connection with them when you only see them on holidays, birthdays and special occasions.  And then it is usually centered around an event, and most of the time only for a few hours.

It used to be that there were week long vacations, and numerous weekends at the cabin to really spend that time.  Nights around the Royal Rummy table, usually borrowing from the bank.  Days filled with badmington and Bocce Ball up at the big cabin, Horseshoes and Lawn Darts down by the Boathouse, Volleyball off the end of the dock, and countless plays, picnics, bubbles and conversations after happy hour.
So many amazing memories like my dad’s famous “Super Balls”, riding up in the camper, surfing in the crick, learning how to clean fish after catching a ton of Sunnies.  Canoeing into the lagoon, pontooning across the lake to check out the Eagle’s nest, and going down the little boy and jumping the Beaver Dams with the Lund.  Falling asleep to Benny Hill and grandma’s cookies.  The sound of the lake against the rocks while sitting on the screened in porch of the Little Cabin.  Cooking hotdogs and s’mores in the fire stack on the beachside.
I have heard story after story of the Lonesome Pine, carved with the love of my parents before I was ever even a thought.  Trips to Big Deep Portage to learn about the wildlife, and countless hours spent doing handstands and flips in the warmest, cleanest water you will ever find.
I can picture Cooper sitting on the green chairs in the kitchen dealing out the last round of poker, chasing George and Shot around the place, and learning to fish, boat and swim.  I can see him skipping clams, looking for leeches in the crick, and running around covered with mosquito bites because he won’t sit still long enough to get a good coating of bug spray.
I have so many amazing memories of sharing this incredible place with my family and friends.  I cannot wait for Cooper to learn to love Big Deep, and get to know the family I love more than anything.

We got so lucky to find Brooke Jakubov at Images by Brooke, a wife of one of my coworkers, to help document the growth of our boy from day one.  Cooper was so sleepy, which was perfect!  Here are some of my favorite images she took of Cooper when he was 2 weeks old.